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Lettin' It All Hang Out

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NJDhockeyfan10/26/2010 7:59:17 am PDT

Dennis Kucinich Says Latest Abduction By Aliens Confirms They’d Vote for Obama If Granted Immunity!

Dennis Kucinich, the 14 year Ohio Democratic Congressman who claims he has had more than one close encounter with Aliens, said his latest conference with intergalactic visitors was just last weekend during a camping trip!

Kucinich who first reported he was abducted while sleeping as a penniless politician on the couch of Shirley Maclaine somewhere out west after he was not re elected as Detroit Mayor in 1979 , said that the aliens were still trying to make inroads into US culture and as recently as last Friday had donated over $600M to the Mid Term Elections, over 99% of which went to democrats, ‘and I don’t want to hear on Fox any Shit about Foreign Investors buying the election,” a florid Kucinich exclaimed excitedly. “Aliens are people too, and should be treated with respect!”

Dennis the Menace, currently weighing in at 99 pounds on a sparse 4’9” frame, says his recent interaction only confirmed what he believed all along…Aliens are on the side of Barry Obama.

“Barry has an other worldly persona, and this is recognized by the space travelers who stand solidly behind his ambition to recognize all aliens, whether they come from Ur-Anus, Mars, Tijuana or Caracas,” said the slightly buzzed Kucinich in a spacey interview on Business Today with Neil Cavuto on Fox.

“All they want is the right to vote,’ said Dennis, ” inAlienable rights to start a business, be paid a living wage, get universal health care and a reasonable housing allowance. Is that too much to ask? And kids…they want to adopt..being asexual they can’t reproduce but are just dying to have a family, one like Angelina Jolie!”

“Are you telling me, ” said an incredulous Cavuto, “that Aliens are incapable of having SEX? Well, the jokes on them, if they can’t have SEX, then Obama can’t SCREW them…I’m afraid they’re just going to have to go somewhere else to look for Sanctuary….I hear the UK has a few nice soccer fields just waiting for some Travelers to settle in….and the benefits aren’t bad either!”