Republicans: Trillions Could Be Cut from Budget if We Eliminate Empathy

Speaking on behalf of congressional Republicans, House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-VA) said today that trillions could be cut from the Federal budget if Congress can agree to eliminate empathy.

“The current budget is bursting at the seams with pet projects that reek of empathy,” Rep. Cantor said. “As a nation, we can no longer afford to spend money on people’s basic survival needs like a bunch of drunken sailors.”

Rep. Cantor noted that “the word ‘empathy’ comes from the Greek word ‘pathos,’ meaning ‘pathetic’ – and that’s exactly what helping people is: pathetic.”

“We Americans should get out of the habit of using Greek words,” he added. “Look where it’s gotten the Greeks – straight into bankruptcy.”

It’s satire, but how can you tell?