re: #21 keloyd

Centurion: What is this then? Romanes eunt domus, “People called Romanes they go the house”?

Brian: It-it says, “Romans, go home”!

Centurion: No, it doesn’t! What’s Latin for “Roman”? [grabs Brian’s ear] Come on, come on!

Brian: Romanus!

Centurion: Goes like?

Brian: Annus!

Centurion: Vocative plural of annus is…?

Brian: Anni?

Centurion: [writes] Romani. And eunt? What is eunt?

Brian: “Go”! Let-

Centurion: Conjugate the verb “to go”.

Brian: Ire; eo, is, it, imus, itis, eunt!

Centurion: So eunt is…?

Brian: Third person plural, present indicative. “They go!”

Centurion: But “Romans, go home” is an order, so you must use the…?

Brian: The… imperative!

Centurion: Which is…?

Brian: I!

Centurion: [twisting Brian’s ear] How many Romans?

Brian: [yelling] I.. Plural, plural! Ite, ite!

Centurion: [writing] Ite. Domus? Nominative? But “go home”, it is motion towards, isn’t it, boy?

Brian: Dative, sir!

[The centurion promptly draws his swords and presses it against Brian’s throat. Brian yells:] No, not dative! Not the dative, sir! No! The… accusative, accusative! Domum, sir, ad domum!

Centurion: Except that domus takes the…?

Brian: The locative, sir!

Centurion: Which is?

Brian: Domum!

Centurion: [writing] Domum… -um [sheathing his sword] Understand?

[Brian nods eagerly]
Now, write it out a hundred times!

Brian: Yes, sir, thank you, sir! Hail Caesar!

Centurion: Hail Caesar. If it’s not done by sunrise, I’ll cut your balls off!

Brian: Oh, thank you, sir. Thank you, sir. Hail Caesar and everything, sir!