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New From Seth Meyers: Trump Shakes Up His Campaign as Biden's Lead Grows

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Targetpractice7/17/2020 2:03:26 am PDT

Way it’s looking right now, the GOP is gonna end up splitting into two factions in the event that Trump loses in November.

The first are going to be the “True Conservatives,” mostly the Old Guard and some of the new crop from purple/blue districts/states who are going to insist that they never really liked Trump and thought all his ideas were wrong…but only in execution, they still think he was right about things like closing the border or cutting corporate taxes. Their message will be pure old-school Republicanism: “Vote for us and we’ll make all your dreams come true, don’t worry about who will pay for it!”

The second will be the “True Believers,” which will consist mostly of MAGAts and the party’s assorted detritus hailing from red districts/states where the party could run a dead dog and be guaranteed 50.1% of the final vote. These will be assholes like Gym Jordan, GOHMERT!!!, Raul Cruz, and all the other assholes who think Donny can walk on water. They’re gonna take to the air the moment the election is called for Biden screaming that the country’s been betrayed, the election was rife with “fraud,” and the next administration “illegitimate.” They’ll promise to obstruct and oppose everything they can, make as much noise as possible, and dedicate themselves to keeping every “accomplishment” of Trump’s intact for years to come.