I have more than my share of evil relatives, though two less since my brother Judas and ex-wife Jezebel passed on to somewhere or other a couple of years ago. One dire prediction the extended clan made about me was that I would die young. Since I just turned 73, even the ones I haven’t outlived already have to admit that is wrong. They also thought I would be on welfare my whole life. I may yet lose everything but things are pretty solid right now. Since they can’t bash me for being poor, they fell back on a scurrilous claim that I made my money running guns to the Mexican cartels. Their evidence was that I knew about guns and could speak Spanish. That’s it. It backfired on them, though, since they are now terrified that I will consign them to a gruesome cartel fate if they piss me off.