re: #38 joncelli

Okay, so what the hell is the Chewbacca defense?

It’s a legendary defense tactic Johnny Cochrane used in a South Park Episode.

Johnny Cochrane: Ladies and Gentlemen of this deposed jury, Chef’s attorney
would certainly want you to believe his client wrote Stinky Britches ten years
ago, and they make a good case. Hell, I almost felt pity myself. But Ladies and
Gentlemen of this deposed jury, I have one final thing I want you to consider.

[Walks up to a chart stand]
Johnny Cochrane: Ladies and Gentlemen,

[Pulls down picture of Chewbacca]

This is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a Wookie from the planet Kashyyk, but
Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now think about it. That does not
make sense.

Gerald (Whispering): Dammit.
Chef (Whispering): What?
Gerald (Whispering): He’s using the Chewbacca defense.

Johnny Cochrane: Why would a Wookie, an eight-foot-tall Wookie, want to live
on Endor with a bunch of two-foot-tall Ewoks. That does not make sense. But
more important, you have to ask yourself what does this have to do with this
case.

[Jury stares in silence]

Johnny Cochrane: Nothing. Ladies and Gentlemen, it has nothing to do with
this case.

[Gerald sinks back and covers his eyes]

Johnny Cochrane: It does not make sense. Look at me. I’m a lawyer defending
a major record company and I’m talkin’ about Chewbacca. Does that make sense?
Ladies and Gentlemen I am not making any sense. None of this makes sense.
And so you have to remember when you’re in that jury room deliberating and
conjugating the Emancipation Proclamation, does it make sense? No. Ladies
and Gentlemen of this deposed jury it does not make sense. If Chewbacca
lives on Endor you must acquit. The defense rests.

It has since come to describe any incoherent legal defense that has no bearing on the actual issues or charges. Blago is in possibly the finest position of anyone since OJ himself to actually use a real life Chewbacca Defense. It would be a great loss to this country if he does not do so.