I would have thought they’d put long pig in with the ground pork. pic.twitter.com/gIHNQh2p1u

— Harry Turtledove (@HNTurtledove) June 14, 2021

Clear Food - the Hot Dog Report

Hygienic issues: Clear Food found human DNA in 2% of the samples. 2/3rds of the samples with human DNA were vegetarian products.

Eeeek! This is clearly a problem with process contamination rather than with the, uh, feed stock.

I hope.

Then again, maybe they mean these products were made FROM vegetarians rather than FOR vegetarians.

“We use only the finest free-range fruit and nut fed hippies and moonbats in our new line of Alferd Packer’s Finest hot dogs. Cheese chunk, barbecue, and plain Democrat flavors. Pick up a pack for your next cook-out or shooting party. And for your long term preparation needs try our new Cthulhu’s Choice combat sausage and tactical jerky products, vaccuum packed in surplus Russian ammo cans, with a guaranteed shelf life of 500 years. Delicious and peculiarly satisfying!”