One of the greatest songs ever thought up by mankind… (australian “folk song” by Rolf Harris.)

Nicholas! Albert! Look, I don’t know where they are, but I’d like you to meet my two pals, my buddies, my two amigos. I’ll tell you all about them.

Strange as it seems, I met in my dreams
Nick O. Teen and Al K. Hall.
Here’s what they said to me: “Use your head boy, it’s easy to see boy
Your life is very, very dull”

Well, I never gargled. I never gambled. I never smoked at all, oh, ohh,
Until I met my two good amigos, Nick O Teen and Al K. Hall.

So I said to Nick, “Nick, tell me quick,
What should a fellow do?”
He said to me, “Boy, it’s easy to see, boy,
You should try a cigarette or two.”

Well, I never gargled. I never gambled. I never smoked at all, oh, ohh,
Until I met my two good amigos, Nick O. Teen and Al K. Hall.

So I lit a fag, and I took a drag,
Then to my great surprise,
I started to gasp, and coughed like a rasp,
And everything spun round before my eyes.

Well, I never gargled. I never gambled. I never smoked at all, oh, ohh,
Until I met my two good amigos, Nick O. Teen and Al K. Hall.

So I said to Al, “Al, be a pal.
What do you really think?”
He said to me, “Boy, it’s easy to see, boy,
Smoking’s kid’s stuff. Pour yourself a drink.”

Well, I never gargled. I never gambled. I never smoked at all, oh, ohh,
Until I met my two good amigos, Nick O. Teen and Al K. Hall.

So quick as a wink, I took a drink,
Swigged a glassful down.
First it seemed to hit me, then it turned around and bit me,
And everything went all spinning round.

Well, I never gargled. I never gambled. I never smoked at all, oh, ohh,
Until I met my two good amigos, Nick O. Teen and Al K. Hall.

Well, here is the joke: when I awoke,
It wasn’t finished yet.
I noticed first a terrible thirst
And then a craving for a cigarette.

Well, I never gargled. I never gambled. I never smoked at all, oh, ohh,
Until I met my two good amigos, Nick O. Teen and Al K. Hall.

Well, take my advice: this smoking is nice
And the drinking is really lush.
As you can see, there’s no change in me.
I’m still as pure as the driven slush.

/memories, memories…