Onion point/counterpoint:
U.S. Out Of My Uterus vs

We Must Deploy Troops To Jessica Linden’s Uterus Immediately

To protect America’s interests, it is sometimes necessary to mobilize and deploy a military force. We now stand on the brink of such a time.

The tactical importance of Jessica Linden’s uterus to national security is twofold: First, with its rich, fertile walls, this uterus is a vital source of future Americans. Second, the uterus is situated in an extremely strategic location, leaving it vulnerable to a hostile foreign power. This uterus must be given top priority by the Pentagon. Establishing a strong U.S. military presence in Jessica Linden’s uterine region is by far the most sensible course of action.