re: #75 A Mom Anon

Thank you.

This whole thing has kind of reactivated my old fears. I had a nightmare about being hit last night for the first time in a long while. Like I shared yesterday, I still am scared, 27 years later, that my abuser will find me and my family and kill us. He threatened to and I believe him. He has a long record now of hurting women and children, I have no reason to believe he’s changed a bit. His last assault with jail time was 2 yrs ago. Yes, I look him up sometimes, mostly to see if he’s dead yet. Because that’s the only way my fear will ever entirely go away. When he’s dead.

This is what a lot of people don’t understand about this kind of violence. It doesn’t just go away once the relationship is over, you carry that shit with you, forever. It’s someone you loved and trusted and they betrayed you in the worst way possible. It doesn’t just vanish into thin air once you’re safe.

I never thought I would say this to anyone, but maybe you should consider getting yourself a defense weapon.