O.T. Gahh…another twenty minutes of my life completely wasted with my upstairs neighbors. I have bitched here before about their older (2004) computer still being on AOL dial-up and the newer laptop working off of my wireless network because I gave their nephew the passphrase to my network over two years ago while he was here.

A few days ago the wireless failed and I was asked to “come up and fix their computer” for the hundredth freaking time. I explained that I probably just needed to reboot my wireless modem (correctly) and apparently Fran finally realized that she is in fact connected to my internet, (I guess she thought this magic wireless stuff was free?).

Anyway rather than continue to rely on me to provide her internet she decided that she needed to instead hook both computers up to the AOL dial-up and asked me what kind of modem she would need…. (yes really). :(

I tried to explain that she could not hook two computers up simultaneously to dial-up unless she used one as a network hub and that there is no longer any such thing as a multiport dial-up modem available on the market, (maybe in an antique store?). I then once again tried to explain that since they already have phone service thru Verizon that they could get DSL for slightly less than they are paying AOL for dial-up and that it would be 10 times as fast and also come with a two or four port modem they could plug both computers into.

Same old shit followed…(You need to picture Fran talking in an increasingly faster and slightly ever more hysterical sounding voice).

“But then we would have to notify everyone of our new web address!”

“No you don’t, AOL mail is free, you can keep your current email addresses”

“But it costs more and we can’t afford it!!”

“No it doesn’t, it actually costs about a buck less per month if you get their “lite” plan which would still be ten times as fast as what you have now”

“But I wont be able to figure out how to use it!!!”

“It is always on, you don’t have to do anything, it is already connected any time the computer is on, and I can make AOL your homepage if you want, you will not notice any difference at all except for not having to connect to the dial-up before browsing”

“But if it quits working I wont know how to fix it!!!11!”

“If it quits working you just need to unplug the modem for half a minute and then plug it back in, that fixes it 95% of the time”

“Well there has to be some way that we can keep AOL and hook both these computers up that is simpler!!!11!!”

“No there isn’t, besides which it would be a waste of money even if there was, and I want no part of even helping you to attempt it.”

“Well fine then, I will call AOL and see if they have someone local we can pay to do it for us since you wont!!!11!!!”

Very Deep Sigh… she absolutely will not give up AOL because it is what she had when she first went online. Reminds me of when I stuck with Netscape long after I should have deleted it simply because it was the first realistically usable alternative to Internet Exploder Explorer.

Any suggestions as to how I can better explain the current state of the internet connection options available to her?