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Onion: Girl Raised from Birth by Wolf

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Cato the Elder7/23/2010 4:01:11 pm PDT

I never thought I’d live to see the day when outright racists have the say on national teevee.

Pam Geller? Just fine with the media.

Ditto Breitbart.

I remember when I was young and the Freedom Marches were going on. We had an old black-and-white teevee, and my parents let me watch the news. The only time we had a family blackout was during the Cuban Missile Crisis, when everyone was expecting imminent doom, and my folks tried to protect us. But me and my brother knew exactly what was happening anyway.

So, Freedom Marches. I asked my mother what that was all about, and she told me. And, according to her (I was six years old at the time), my question was, “So, mommy, why aren’t you there with them?” The next march came around, and she was there.

In 1968, when I was twelve, my parents went out for dinner and left us with a babysitter. That was when we heard the news of the murder of MLK.

This was before the day when people kept their radios on 24/7, and well before the time when people had cellphones for instant updates. My parents came home and asked how things were, and I told them the news.

It’s the only time I remember ever seeing my dad break down and cry.

The next day, Baltimore was in flames, and nothing would ever be the same.

And now some upjumped little shittard named Breitbart comes along and wants to teach me to hate the NAACP?

Let me not, O Lord, die of puking on his shoes.