re: #63 Slap

One of the funniest things I’ve heard in a long time was from a guy who is a regular caller to Harry Shearer’s radio show. He screws with telemarketrs and records it. On one occasion, he answered as a law enforcement official, questioning the caller about why he was calling this number, and what was his connection to the deceased, and does he have an alibi — all the while calling to non-existemt CSI types with things like “don’t step in that blood! — wait ‘til the coroner is finished”.

The telemarketer was utterly unable to gain traction. It was FINE.

I recently got a call from a guy claiming to be a member of a Microsoft support team. The convo went something like this:
He: We have gotten indications that you may have some malware on your computer. Do you have a computer?
Me: I have several.
He: Just pick one.
Me: This is my newest one, a Samsung Galaxy smartphone.
He: No, no. I didn’t mean a smartphone. Do you have a desktop computer?
Me: Yeah. Are you familiar with Windows 95?
He: In the Events list, there are a bunch of errors.
Me: I’m sorry you’re having a problem with your computer. Can I help you with that?
He: No, no. You don’t understand.