This just in! A Trousergate Update from Iowahawk:

CLINTON AIDE ACCIDENTALLY TAKES 9/11 DOCS, NOTES, JOLLY RANCHERS

Former Clinton Administration National Security Advisor Sandy Berger admitted ‘inadvertently’ stuffing highly classified documents and notes into his pants, absent-mindedly removing them from the national archives on five occasions, accidentally mailing them to DNC Chair Terry McAuliffe, who mistakenly buried them in the World Trade Center excavation site.

According to FBI sources, Berger also stopped off at a Bethesda, MD Chevron FoodMart, where he inadvertently stuffed his pants with three bags of Jolly Ranchers, a 24-pack of Bud Lite, a copy of Maxim magazine, and Listerine Pocket Mints before driving off without paying for 14 gallons of unleaded super.

An apologetic Berger said “my bad,” and offered to return several cans of Bud Lite to the Chevron.

GERGEN: BERGER ‘AMERICAN HERO’ WITH ‘PANTS ISSUES’

Appearing on NBC’s Today program, Washington domo David Gergen defended his former Clinton Administration teammate, saying that “it is impossible for me to imagine a true friend and American hero like Sandy doing anything illegal.”

Speaking with host Katie Couric, Gergen explained that Berger may have had “an inferiority complex in the pantular area,” leading to the serial slacks-stuffing.

“Whenever the Clinton team had a retreat to Camp David, most of us wore Speedos, tool-boxes, banana hammocks, whatever,” said Gergen. “Everybody but poor Sandy, who used to sit over in the corner of the pool in his baggies, his wet t-shirt sadly clinging to his pasty fatkid he-titties.”

Gergen questioned the timing of the report, saying that “the real scandal here is why this is so-called ‘scandal’ is a ‘scandal,’ and who is pushing this as a scandal, and where, and why now, and why that itself is not the real scandal, and that in a nutshell is what the real scandal is to me.”