INDC Journal is conducting invaluable research into the migration and mating patterns of the many species of North American moonbat. Their latest field study: Dances with Moonbats - Moonbat Xtreme.

Humans inevitably react with fear or aversion upon meeting a fellow like this, but he’s actually a quite harmless and friendly Macroglossius lunarius abundantia fectum comedo, or “Long-tongued Poo Eating Moonbat,” displaying an offer of something called “Poochotle,” a bonding ritual common to the breed that’s intended to establish friendship and beneficial economic interaction. Suffice it to say, the ritual is primarily theoretical, and this sad fellow is likely to wander his entire natural life without any takers. Or money.