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Palestinian Work Accident Watch

Sun, May 11, 2008 at 9:44:44 am PDT

They’re terrorists, and they were carrying explosives meant to kill Israelis, but of course the Associated Press calls them “militants” and tells us they were on a “holy mission:” Hamas militant killed in Gaza explosion.

GAZA CITY, Gaza Strip - A member of the militant group Hamas has been killed in an explosion along Gaza’s fence with Israel, the group said Sunday.

The Islamic group’s military wing says the member was killed and another injured during a “holy mission.” Such language is used when explosives meant for an attack on Israel explode prematurely.

No virgins for you, Ahmed.

71 comments

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1 hayseed  5/11/08 9:46:30 am reply quote

that's an oh sh*t

2 itellu3times  5/11/08 9:47:04 am reply quote

72 virgins and still his explosives go off prematurely.

3 pingjockey  5/11/08 9:47:08 am reply quote

Black is white, water is not wet, there are no terrorists, just militants.

4 JammieWearingFool  5/11/08 9:48:17 am reply quote

Jimmy Carter was unavailable for comment.

5 MJ  5/11/08 9:48:33 am reply quote

You should continue saying (Associated with Terrorists) when crediting the Associated Press.

6 Thanos  5/11/08 9:48:56 am reply quote

They must get whiplash from averting their eyes from facts, e.g. it's the religion of peace but they were on a holy mission. AP: You can't have it both ways...

7 Desert Dog  5/11/08 9:49:07 am reply quote

Terrorist blows self up? Now, THAT is a fine example of poetic justice. And, as Charles mentioned, there will be no virgins awaiting in hell either.

8 Sharmuta  5/11/08 9:49:19 am reply quote
The Islamic group’s military wing says the member was killed and another injured during a “holy mission.” Such language is used when explosives meant for an attack on Israel explode prematurely.

Uh- they also use that language when the explosives hit their targets, but maybe the msm hasn't been paying enough attention.

9 DesertSage  5/11/08 9:49:36 am reply quote

Does his employer carry workers comp?

10 yochanan  5/11/08 9:50:06 am reply quote

re: #2 itellu3times

72 virgins and still his explosives go off prematurely.


is that anything like a premature ejectulation?

11 Killgore Trout  5/11/08 9:50:12 am reply quote
“holy mission."


Heh.

12 Occasional Reader  5/11/08 9:50:39 am reply quote
when explosives meant for an attack on Israel explode prematurely.

AP to terrorists: "It's okay, we can still cuddle."

13 Tumulus11  5/11/08 9:50:47 am reply quote
. 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three,

no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the

number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count,

neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three.

Five is right out.'

// The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch

14 JammieWearingFool  5/11/08 9:51:20 am reply quote

He was on a mission from Allah.

15 Desert Dog  5/11/08 9:51:29 am reply quote

re: #6 Thanos

They must get whiplash from averting their eyes from facts, e.g. it's the religion of peace but they were on a holy mission. AP: You can't have it both ways...

He was on a "Holy Mission", but now, he's just holey

16 Occasional Reader  5/11/08 9:51:51 am reply quote

And I'm sure Mr. Holy Oops' death will be chalked up in the "number of Palestinians killed in the conflict" column, and thereby blamed on Israel.

17 Opinionated  5/11/08 9:53:26 am reply quote
Fighting has escalated since an Israeli man was killed in a mortar shell attack on southern Israel on Friday. In retaliation, Israeli forces fired missiles that killed five Hamas militants.

Notice as always the fighting escalates when Israel retaliates.

Murdering the Israeli did not constitute escalated fighting. Murdered Jews are expected and usual.

18 ec marm  5/11/08 9:53:27 am reply quote

Gives new meaning to the phrase, "holier than thou."

19 DistantThunder  5/11/08 9:54:12 am reply quote

Must be Allah's will to be blown up by his own bomb.

Bombers last words:

Dying is easy, comedy is hard.

20 mikeinmd  5/11/08 9:54:18 am reply quote

Palestinian OSHA must mandate only 2 people in the room when attaching vests. Otherwise, you take out a whole cell. Damn, that would ROCK.

21 pre-Boomer Marine brat  5/11/08 9:56:08 am reply quote

re: #10 yochanan

is that anything like a premature ejectulation?

LOL
Must have been, since it was obviously so hard on him.

22 American Soldier  5/11/08 9:56:10 am reply quote
No virgins for you, Ahmed.


Sec.9-3 of Jihadi TM127-5, Jihad for Splodeydopes, clearly states that virgins can be awarded for intent; even if said splodeydope is too stupid to pour piss out of a boot with the instructions printed on the heel.

23 little boomer  5/11/08 9:56:14 am reply quote

butterfingers.

24 Occasional Reader  5/11/08 9:56:32 am reply quote

re: #17 Opinionated

Notice as always the fighting escalates when Israel retaliates.

Murdering the Israeli did not constitute escalated fighting. Murdered Jews are expected and usual.

Excellent observation.

25 The Other Les  5/11/08 9:56:47 am reply quote

re: #6 Thanos

They must get whiplash from averting their eyes from facts, e.g. it's the religion of peace but they were on a holy mission. AP: You can't have it both ways...

You have to remember that to the Progressive mentalities that populate the Main Stream Media the existence of Human Life is Evil therefore the destruction of Human Life is Good.

26 ploome hineni  5/11/08 9:56:58 am reply quote

..but the arab Israel conflict is about land, not a religious jihad

right?

Beuford? Achmed?

right?

27 Syrah  5/11/08 9:57:00 am reply quote

re: #6 Thanos

They must get whiplash from averting their eyes from facts, e.g. it's the religion of peace but they were on a holy mission. AP: You can't have it both ways...

Somehow, I suspect that this little "holy mission" incident will be completely ignored by that new "Islamophobia Observatory."

28 rwmofo  5/11/08 9:57:20 am reply quote

OK, when I nod my head hit it.

29 MAOZ (Middle-Aged Of Zion)  5/11/08 9:58:29 am reply quote

Oh, y'all know that one about the school for terrorists, right? Today's lesson: bomb vests.

Teacher demonstrates for the students.

"Now, watch carefully, 'cause I'm only going to do this once...."

KABOOM!

30 itellu3times  5/11/08 9:58:59 am reply quote

re: #10 yochanan

is that anything like a premature ejectulation?

Premature jihadulation.

31 DeafDog  5/11/08 10:02:07 am reply quote

My crazy idea is that - once Iraq calms down (which is happining at a rapid rate), then the Palastnians will be recruited to Iraq to help with the rebuilding. It could be a big win-win...of course, the arabs don't really like the Palastinians, but I can hope.

32 Occasional Reader  5/11/08 10:05:02 am reply quote

re: #31 DeafDog

then the Palastnians will be recruited to Iraq to help with the rebuilding

Sure, and we could hire the Manson Family to run social services.

You're kidding, right?

33 jaunte  5/11/08 10:05:35 am reply quote

re: #31 DeafDog

The Palestinians have made themselves generally repellent to the other neighboring arab populations. It would be nice if they had a place to go to relieve the pressure on Israel, but as they are seen as troublemakers I don't think it will happen.

34 Spiritualized  5/11/08 10:05:59 am reply quote
Hamas militant killed in Gaza explosion

Only one? Call me when there's better news.

35 jaunte  5/11/08 10:06:44 am reply quote

Alternate headline: Hatred wide-spread in Gaza.

36 Shotgun Samurai  5/11/08 10:07:04 am reply quote

Eh, I figure they deserve more credit than usual for at least mentioning that a "holy mission" meant attacking and killing people. At least they provide context for what this most sacred of errands actually meant for once.

38 mean Gene  5/11/08 10:09:45 am reply quote

Holey mission.

39 shibumi  5/11/08 10:11:08 am reply quote

re: #22 American Soldier

Sec.9-3 of Jihadi TM127-5, Jihad for Splodeydopes, clearly states that virgins can be awarded for intent; even if said splodeydope is too stupid to pour piss out of a boot with the instructions printed on the heel.

Didn't you get the memo?

Amendment 1.2Z to Sec.9-3 of Jihadi TM127-5, Jihad for Splodeydopes states that virgins awarded for intent to splodeydopes will be of limited quantity and quality, since Mohammad did not win wars on intent. These limited quantity virgins include (but are not limited to) the obese, those with harelips, hunchbacks as well as angry man-hating lesbian virgins.

40 DeafDog  5/11/08 10:12:43 am reply quote

re: #32 Occasional Reader

Sure, and we could hire the Manson Family to run social services.

You're kidding, right?

Only half kidding.

I know you are right, but the Palastinan problem continues forever until they are relocated. A two state solution won't work.

41 Darwin Akbar  5/11/08 10:12:52 am reply quote

KABOOMSKI!
No virgins for you, Abu!

Nothing makes me happier than Palestinian Natural Selection at work! Keep it up, boys.

42 Maine's Michael  5/11/08 10:17:05 am reply quote
Another human rights crime by Israel.

Were the Palestinians allowed equal opportunity education and access to information, they would be more proficient in their daily activities, resulting in fewer deaths as a result of skills deficiency.

Additionally, the collective punishment siege imposed by the Jews Israelis results in substandard munitions goods brought into the territories. Cheap Chinese fuses and wires, and 1st generation cell phones contribute to the sad event experienced today.

Carter Foundation Statement

/fake but accurate

43 Nene1  5/11/08 10:18:32 am reply quote

Raving incompetence is typical of the Pali ability in suicide attacks. Only rarely is one successful. Fortunately, very rarely.
You would think the Jihad academies would up their standard.
But , No.

44 Maine's Michael  5/11/08 10:23:31 am reply quote

re: #33 jaunte

The Palestinians have made themselves generally repellent to the other neighboring arab populations. It would be nice if they had a place to go to relieve the pressure on Israel, but as they are seen as troublemakers I don't think it will happen.

The arab world created this genocidal weapon, and camouflaged it as a 'nation' or 'culture', using the alien (to muslim arabs) lexicon of self determination, freedom, nationalism, and 'human rights' to lubricate the insertion of this weapon into the Western Leftist/Elitist cosmology of good and righteous movements.

That they refuse to have anything to do with them is akin to you training a pit bull to be vicious, and then keeping it caged because you don't want it roaming around your house.

Shove them down the Jordanian and Egyptian throats, I say.

You boiled these hot potatoes, Hosni and Abdullah. Swallow!

45 paradox42  5/11/08 10:25:16 am reply quote

In the words of the great Nelson Muntz:

Ha Ha

46 Macker  5/11/08 10:31:51 am reply quote

re: #39 shibumi

You forgot the demons with anvil-shaped attributes.

47 Clubsec  5/11/08 10:51:16 am reply quote

Hope these ordnance skills are representative of many more of the 'smartest' Aabs, i.e. the Palestinians.
Demo rule #1: The rules of explosives are written in blood (EOD rule).
Do they know about ESD hazzards when dealing with HE? Apparently not.

48 Opinionated  5/11/08 10:52:02 am reply quote

Fascinating headline watch: Jews as cop killers.

Militants Kill Israeli; Israelis Kill 5 Hamas Policemen

[Link: www.nytimes.com...]

It was "militants" that killed the Israeli. Hamas' (a terrorist organization's )militants? No. Just militants.

Policemen has a connotation of being the sentinels for the maintenance of a peaceful lawful society.

And there go the evil Jews and kill them.

49 Maine's Michael  5/11/08 10:55:54 am reply quote

re: #48 Opinionated

I'm sure they had badges.

50 Opinionated  5/11/08 11:00:17 am reply quote

re: #49 Maine's Michael

I'm sure they had badges.

They don't need no stinking badges!

Would you hazard a guess as to the job description of a "policeman" in Gaza.

51 Syrah  5/11/08 11:01:32 am reply quote

re: #49 Maine's Michael

I'm sure they had badges.

They don't need no stinking badges!

52 American Soldier  5/11/08 11:27:37 am reply quote

re: #39 shibumi

Didn't you get the memo?

Amendment 1.2Z to Sec.9-3 of Jihadi TM127-5, Jihad for Splodeydopes states that virgins awarded for intent to splodeydopes will be of limited quantity and quality, since Mohammad did not win wars on intent. These limited quantity virgins include (but are not limited to) the obese, those with harelips, hunchbacks as well as angry man-hating lesbian virgins.

[Link: wordpolishing.com...]

53 dmh0667  5/11/08 12:25:49 pm reply quote

I. Feel. Just. Awful.

Not.

54 Gumby  5/11/08 12:26:05 pm reply quote

re: #9 DesertSage

Does his employer carry workers comp?

Maybe the State department should send OSHA reps over to investigate their unsafe work practices....

55 Gumby  5/11/08 12:29:19 pm reply quote

re: #21 pre-Boomer Marine brat

LOL
Must have been, since it was obviously so hard on him.

Irony states he was holding it in his lap. What a case of blue balls that would be.... hahahahaha!

56 Sentry  5/11/08 12:32:51 pm reply quote

I hope the fence is okay.

57 vagabond trader  5/11/08 12:45:00 pm reply quote

Just think what they could achieve if their industrious nature were used for the good stuff in life.Yeah, never mind.

58 Watcher  5/11/08 1:00:34 pm reply quote

A funny thing happened on the way to a “holy mission”.

59 marc in calgary  5/11/08 1:40:23 pm reply quote

Is there a local Workers Compensation Board that needs to be notified?

60 RobCon  5/11/08 1:40:47 pm reply quote
No virgins for you, Ahmed

Ah, come on. Surely they deserve at least a dozen or so of the ladies that have been around the block a few times.

61 RobCon  5/11/08 1:42:55 pm reply quote

Nice to hear a "holy mission" turned the last few minutes of their lives into a "I Love Lucy" skit.

62 B_Dix  5/11/08 2:24:17 pm reply quote

#40 DeafDog 5/11/08 10:12:43 am

"I know you are right, but the Palastinan problem continues forever until they are relocated."
=== === === === ===

"The Palestinian problem continues forever." That's the sad-but-true of it. Relocation won't help. It won't be where they want it to be. It won't be WHAT they want it to be. It won't be grassy enough, or hilly enough, or flat enough, or rainy enough, or dry enough, or ...whatever. It will be "unsuitable" and "inferior" and "an insult to their honor and dignity" no matter where or what it is. It would be... a compromise. (see the photo at
[Link: www.cnn.com...]
-- to me this illustrates Islam in a nutshell: "No Compromise".)

Until they WANT to be civilized, until they WANT to do mundane things like grow crops and feed their families, until they WANT their children to be cobblers or bakers or schoolteachers instead of Jew-killers, they will always be stuck in murder-and-vengeance mode. Best thing would be to build a VERY high fence around the lot of 'em, catapult food and water in every couple of days, and check back each year or so. Eventually they'd kill each other off -- because that is what they DO: kill the "other". If they don't have targets outside their community, they'll invent "inside" targets. It's what they WANT to do; it's all they know HOW to do. Isolate the infection and it will turn on itself and eliminate itself.

63 NGrove  5/11/08 2:28:59 pm reply quote

To quote the great puppet Walter... "Bet ya can't do it again Jackass!"

64 B_Dix  5/11/08 3:08:38 pm reply quote

As an aside: when our preachers tell us to find our "holy mission" and pursue it for the betterment of mankind and the glory of God, they are NOT saying "Go out and kill somebody God hates."

Just sayin'...

65 John3-16  5/11/08 4:15:44 pm reply quote

It would probably take the mistaken bombing of at least 3 Middle Eastern AP offices before those idiots could consider returning truth to the meaning of the word terrorist.

66 eaglewingz08  5/11/08 4:49:17 pm reply quote

Forgive me but AP hasn't got the memo from the US State Department, as apparently the HAMASS fireworks engineers who prematurely set off their displays did not receive the State Dep't memo either: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS JIHAD OR JIHADIS. Honestly, if this keeps up we will have to send Dolores Umbridge to AP and to HAMASS and give them detention writing lines: "I will not tell lies" and "There is no such thing as jihad, shaheedas, or jihadis" and "Fireworks don't kill people, only people using them do".

I certainly hope that these peaceful workers' families will be able to file their claims for Worker's Compensation, for these unforeseen and accidental injuries they sustained on the job. Isn't that what any civilized state would provide to them?

67 lakedog66  5/11/08 6:09:23 pm reply quote

As Ac"phlegm"ed the Dead Terrorist:


I KEEEEEEELLLL YOU!

Heck the family will probably make more money in martyr insurance than I make this year.

68 chsw3719  5/11/08 7:36:23 pm reply quote

May their virgins all look like Helen Thomas.

69 Jinx McHue  5/11/08 8:32:09 pm reply quote

re: #37 Roger

i keeeeeeel yoooouuuuu! Are you skeered yet?

Exactly my thought. Art imitates life imitates art.

"I had a premature detonation. I set the timer for 30 minutes, but it went off in 4 seconds. You know what that's like, right?"

70 OLDPUPPYMAX  5/12/08 5:34:01 am reply quote

Since he MEANT to be a martyr, will he get girls who meant to be virgins?

71 Jed  5/12/08 6:17:05 am reply quote

They get 72 left-over virgins that no one else wants.


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