that's an oh sh*t

72 virgins and still his explosives go off prematurely.

Black is white, water is not wet, there are no terrorists, just militants.

Jimmy Carter was unavailable for comment.

You should continue saying (Associated with Terrorists) when crediting the Associated Press.

They must get whiplash from averting their eyes from facts, e.g. it's the religion of peace but they were on a holy mission. AP: You can't have it both ways...

Terrorist blows self up? Now, THAT is a fine example of poetic justice. And, as Charles mentioned, there will be no virgins awaiting in hell either.

The Islamic group’s military wing says the member was killed and another injured during a “holy mission.” Such language is used when explosives meant for an attack on Israel explode prematurely.

Uh- they also use that language when the explosives hit their targets, but maybe the msm hasn't been paying enough attention.

Does his employer carry workers comp?

re: #2 itellu3times

72 virgins and still his explosives go off prematurely.

is that anything like a premature ejectulation?

“holy mission."

Heh.

when explosives meant for an attack on Israel explode prematurely.

AP to terrorists: "It's okay, we can still cuddle."

. 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three,

no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the

number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count,

neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three.

Five is right out.'

// The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch

He was on a mission from Allah.

re: #6 Thanos

They must get whiplash from averting their eyes from facts, e.g. it's the religion of peace but they were on a holy mission. AP: You can't have it both ways...

He was on a "Holy Mission", but now, he's just holey

And I'm sure Mr. Holy Oops' death will be chalked up in the "number of Palestinians killed in the conflict" column, and thereby blamed on Israel.

Fighting has escalated since an Israeli man was killed in a mortar shell attack on southern Israel on Friday. In retaliation, Israeli forces fired missiles that killed five Hamas militants.

Notice as always the fighting escalates when Israel retaliates.

Murdering the Israeli did not constitute escalated fighting. Murdered Jews are expected and usual.

Gives new meaning to the phrase, "holier than thou."

Must be Allah's will to be blown up by his own bomb.

Bombers last words:

Dying is easy, comedy is hard.

Palestinian OSHA must mandate only 2 people in the room when attaching vests. Otherwise, you take out a whole cell. Damn, that would ROCK.

re: #10 yochanan

is that anything like a premature ejectulation?

LOL
Must have been, since it was obviously so hard on him.

No virgins for you, Ahmed.

Sec.9-3 of Jihadi TM127-5, Jihad for Splodeydopes, clearly states that virgins can be awarded for intent; even if said splodeydope is too stupid to pour piss out of a boot with the instructions printed on the heel.

butterfingers.

re: #17 Opinionated

Notice as always the fighting escalates when Israel retaliates.

Murdering the Israeli did not constitute escalated fighting. Murdered Jews are expected and usual.

Excellent observation.

re: #6 Thanos

They must get whiplash from averting their eyes from facts, e.g. it's the religion of peace but they were on a holy mission. AP: You can't have it both ways...

You have to remember that to the Progressive mentalities that populate the Main Stream Media the existence of Human Life is Evil therefore the destruction of Human Life is Good.

re: #6 Thanos

They must get whiplash from averting their eyes from facts, e.g. it's the religion of peace but they were on a holy mission. AP: You can't have it both ways...

Somehow, I suspect that this little "holy mission" incident will be completely ignored by that new "Islamophobia Observatory."

OK, when I nod my head hit it.

Oh, y'all know that one about the school for terrorists, right? Today's lesson: bomb vests.

Teacher demonstrates for the students.

"Now, watch carefully, 'cause I'm only going to do this once...."

KABOOM!

re: #10 yochanan

is that anything like a premature ejectulation?

Premature jihadulation.

My crazy idea is that - once Iraq calms down (which is happining at a rapid rate), then the Palastnians will be recruited to Iraq to help with the rebuilding. It could be a big win-win...of course, the arabs don't really like the Palastinians, but I can hope.

re: #31 DeafDog

then the Palastnians will be recruited to Iraq to help with the rebuilding

Sure, and we could hire the Manson Family to run social services.

You're kidding, right?

re: #31 DeafDog

The Palestinians have made themselves generally repellent to the other neighboring arab populations. It would be nice if they had a place to go to relieve the pressure on Israel, but as they are seen as troublemakers I don't think it will happen.

Hamas militant killed in Gaza explosion

Only one? Call me when there's better news.

Alternate headline: Hatred wide-spread in Gaza.

Eh, I figure they deserve more credit than usual for at least mentioning that a "holy mission" meant attacking and killing people. At least they provide context for what this most sacred of errands actually meant for once.

i keeeeeeel yoooouuuuu! Are you skeered yet?

Holey mission.

re: #22 American Soldier

Sec.9-3 of Jihadi TM127-5, Jihad for Splodeydopes, clearly states that virgins can be awarded for intent; even if said splodeydope is too stupid to pour piss out of a boot with the instructions printed on the heel.

Didn't you get the memo?

Amendment 1.2Z to Sec.9-3 of Jihadi TM127-5, Jihad for Splodeydopes states that virgins awarded for intent to splodeydopes will be of limited quantity and quality, since Mohammad did not win wars on intent. These limited quantity virgins include (but are not limited to) the obese, those with harelips, hunchbacks as well as angry man-hating lesbian virgins.

re: #32 Occasional Reader

Sure, and we could hire the Manson Family to run social services.

You're kidding, right?

Only half kidding.

I know you are right, but the Palastinan problem continues forever until they are relocated. A two state solution won't work.

KABOOMSKI!
No virgins for you, Abu!

Nothing makes me happier than Palestinian Natural Selection at work! Keep it up, boys.

Another human rights crime by Israel.

Were the Palestinians allowed equal opportunity education and access to information, they would be more proficient in their daily activities, resulting in fewer deaths as a result of skills deficiency.

Additionally, the collective punishment siege imposed by the Jews Israelis results in substandard munitions goods brought into the territories. Cheap Chinese fuses and wires, and 1st generation cell phones contribute to the sad event experienced today.

Carter Foundation Statement

/fake but accurate

Raving incompetence is typical of the Pali ability in suicide attacks. Only rarely is one successful. Fortunately, very rarely.
You would think the Jihad academies would up their standard.
But , No.

re: #33 jaunte

The Palestinians have made themselves generally repellent to the other neighboring arab populations. It would be nice if they had a place to go to relieve the pressure on Israel, but as they are seen as troublemakers I don't think it will happen.

The arab world created this genocidal weapon, and camouflaged it as a 'nation' or 'culture', using the alien (to muslim arabs) lexicon of self determination, freedom, nationalism, and 'human rights' to lubricate the insertion of this weapon into the Western Leftist/Elitist cosmology of good and righteous movements.

That they refuse to have anything to do with them is akin to you training a pit bull to be vicious, and then keeping it caged because you don't want it roaming around your house.

Shove them down the Jordanian and Egyptian throats, I say.

You boiled these hot potatoes, Hosni and Abdullah. Swallow!

In the words of the great Nelson Muntz:

Ha Ha

re: #39 shibumi

You forgot the demons with anvil-shaped attributes.

Hope these ordnance skills are representative of many more of the 'smartest' Aabs, i.e. the Palestinians.
Demo rule #1: The rules of explosives are written in blood (EOD rule).
Do they know about ESD hazzards when dealing with HE? Apparently not.

Fascinating headline watch: Jews as cop killers.

Militants Kill Israeli; Israelis Kill 5 Hamas Policemen

[Link: www.nytimes.com...]

It was "militants" that killed the Israeli. Hamas' (a terrorist organization's )militants? No. Just militants.

Policemen has a connotation of being the sentinels for the maintenance of a peaceful lawful society.

And there go the evil Jews and kill them.

re: #48 Opinionated

I'm sure they had badges.

re: #49 Maine's Michael

I'm sure they had badges.

They don't need no stinking badges!

Would you hazard a guess as to the job description of a "policeman" in Gaza.

re: #49 Maine's Michael

I'm sure they had badges.

They don't need no stinking badges!

re: #39 shibumi

Didn't you get the memo?

Amendment 1.2Z to Sec.9-3 of Jihadi TM127-5, Jihad for Splodeydopes states that virgins awarded for intent to splodeydopes will be of limited quantity and quality, since Mohammad did not win wars on intent. These limited quantity virgins include (but are not limited to) the obese, those with harelips, hunchbacks as well as angry man-hating lesbian virgins.

[Link: wordpolishing.com...]

I. Feel. Just. Awful.

Not.

re: #9 DesertSage

Does his employer carry workers comp?

Maybe the State department should send OSHA reps over to investigate their unsafe work practices....

re: #21 pre-Boomer Marine brat

LOL
Must have been, since it was obviously so hard on him.

Irony states he was holding it in his lap. What a case of blue balls that would be.... hahahahaha!

I hope the fence is okay.

Just think what they could achieve if their industrious nature were used for the good stuff in life.Yeah, never mind.

A funny thing happened on the way to a “holy mission”.

Is there a local Workers Compensation Board that needs to be notified?

No virgins for you, Ahmed

Ah, come on. Surely they deserve at least a dozen or so of the ladies that have been around the block a few times.

Nice to hear a "holy mission" turned the last few minutes of their lives into a "I Love Lucy" skit.

#40 DeafDog 5/11/08 10:12:43 am

"I know you are right, but the Palastinan problem continues forever until they are relocated."
=== === === === ===

"The Palestinian problem continues forever." That's the sad-but-true of it. Relocation won't help. It won't be where they want it to be. It won't be WHAT they want it to be. It won't be grassy enough, or hilly enough, or flat enough, or rainy enough, or dry enough, or ...whatever. It will be "unsuitable" and "inferior" and "an insult to their honor and dignity" no matter where or what it is. It would be... a compromise. (see the photo at
[Link: www.cnn.com...]
-- to me this illustrates Islam in a nutshell: "No Compromise".)

Until they WANT to be civilized, until they WANT to do mundane things like grow crops and feed their families, until they WANT their children to be cobblers or bakers or schoolteachers instead of Jew-killers, they will always be stuck in murder-and-vengeance mode. Best thing would be to build a VERY high fence around the lot of 'em, catapult food and water in every couple of days, and check back each year or so. Eventually they'd kill each other off -- because that is what they DO: kill the "other". If they don't have targets outside their community, they'll invent "inside" targets. It's what they WANT to do; it's all they know HOW to do. Isolate the infection and it will turn on itself and eliminate itself.

To quote the great puppet Walter... "Bet ya can't do it again Jackass!"

As an aside: when our preachers tell us to find our "holy mission" and pursue it for the betterment of mankind and the glory of God, they are NOT saying "Go out and kill somebody God hates."

Just sayin'...

It would probably take the mistaken bombing of at least 3 Middle Eastern AP offices before those idiots could consider returning truth to the meaning of the word terrorist.

Forgive me but AP hasn't got the memo from the US State Department, as apparently the HAMASS fireworks engineers who prematurely set off their displays did not receive the State Dep't memo either: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS JIHAD OR JIHADIS. Honestly, if this keeps up we will have to send Dolores Umbridge to AP and to HAMASS and give them detention writing lines: "I will not tell lies" and "There is no such thing as jihad, shaheedas, or jihadis" and "Fireworks don't kill people, only people using them do".

I certainly hope that these peaceful workers' families will be able to file their claims for Worker's Compensation, for these unforeseen and accidental injuries they sustained on the job. Isn't that what any civilized state would provide to them?

As Ac"phlegm"ed the Dead Terrorist:

I KEEEEEEELLLL YOU!

Heck the family will probably make more money in martyr insurance than I make this year.

May their virgins all look like Helen Thomas.

re: #37 Roger

i keeeeeeel yoooouuuuu! Are you skeered yet?

Exactly my thought. Art imitates life imitates art.

"I had a premature detonation. I set the timer for 30 minutes, but it went off in 4 seconds. You know what that's like, right?"

Since he MEANT to be a martyr, will he get girls who meant to be virgins?

They get 72 left-over virgins that no one else wants.