Building Little Bridges
Personal anecdote:
Last week I went to my local CVS pharmacy to buy some milk and a couple of other items. I passed by a young boy and his mom while I was shopping, and the boy’s head whipped around when he saw me. I smiled and he just stared, clearly unsure of what to make of me.
I got in line, and shortly after he and his mom did also. They were standing off to my left, and he again began staring with the utmost intensity & seriousness (the mom was totally oblivious). He’d obviously never encountered a woman in hijab before, and I could almost see the gears turning in his little head as he tried to figure out how/where I fit into the grander scheme of things. I smiled again. He kept staring.
I noticed he had some Halloween decorations in his hand, so I figured maybe I should try saying something friendly before he decided that I permanently belonged in the weird/scary category. Heh. I asked him, “So what’re you gonna be for Halloween?” That was all it took—it was as if black storm clouds suddenly parted and the sun came shining through—he grinned at me from ear to ear and with great enthusiasm said, “A witch!”
His mom, who hadn’t noticed the silent communication passing between us, was more than a little taken aback by the exchange (and probably also by my very American accent). I decided to continue and asked him, “Are you gonna be a SCARY witch or a good witch?” Still grinning he replied, “A scary witch!” Then he turned to his mom and said, “Mom, can you buy me a witch costume?? I want to be a witch!” She replied that she already had a cowboy costume for him. He looked less than pleased at that news. I told him, “Well, maybe you can be a SCARY cowboy, huh?” His face lit up and he smiled again. At that point I got called to the register, so that was the end of our brief connection.
The mother never made eye contact with me, nor did she ever even turn her head in my direction or acknowledge my presence in any way. Grown-ups suck sometimes. Anyway, hopefully I made a good impression on the boy and he’ll associate a positive memory with hijab next time he encounters a Muslim woman wearing it.
I wholeheartedly believe in building little bridges at every opportunity because sometimes the little stuff counts more than we realize.
“Your smile for your brother is sadaqah*. Your removal of stones, thorns or bones from the paths of people is sadaqah. Your guidance of a person who is lost is sadaqah.” (Hadith – Al Bukhari)
The end. ;o)
*Sadaqah = Charity, in the sense of voluntarily offering something good that contributes to the well-being of others, with the intention of pleasing God by doing so. IOW, any beneficial act performed with that conscious intent—be it donating money, feeding the poor, visiting a sick friend, giving water to a thirsty animal, preventing an injustice, or simply smiling at someone to make them feel better—falls under the umbrella of sadaqah.