RESEARCH LACKING REALITY: It Really, Doesn’t Matter How You Lost Your Virginity—no ref to RAPE
Really, I think it matters if a person had the CHOICE to lose their virginity or not. Not so much where and when, but EDUCATED CONSENT. The article says nothing about those who lost their virginity thru rape. That I would agree, would taint any future sexual fulfullment.
at the Universities of Tennessee and Mississippi questioned a few hundred undergrads about when and how they lost their v-card, asking participants to describe the experience using dumb terms straight out of a ’90s teen romcom including “connection” and “afterglow.” (Serious question: has anyone ever actually employed the word “afterglow” other than Everclear?) The students also kept sex diaries describing all of their sexual interactions and rated their current sex lives in terms of “control, satisfaction, and general well-being.”
According to a press release, “those who were most emotionally and physically satisfied the first time found their sex lives the most fulfilling” and “those who reported higher levels of anxiety and negativity with the first time reported lower overall sexual functioning.”
“These results suggest that one’s first-time sexual experience is more than just a milestone in development,” the study’s authors wrote. “Rather, it appears to have implications for their sexual well-being years later.”
I’m glad I’ll always fondly remember the night I lost my virginity (February 19th! Is it weird that I remember?), but I have way more friends whose first times were troubling or disappointing or just plain forgettable. And no, they’re not all currently wandering around the slums selling their teeth for money à la Fantine. So don’t worry, and please remember that it’s not your fault if you lost your virginity in the back of a cramped Mini Cooper or to a person you regret or if your definition of “losing it” isn’t in our collective heteronormative dictionary yet. You’ll be fine.
“To cite this article: C. Veronica Smith & Matthew J. Shaffer (2013): Gone But Not Forgotten: Virginity Loss and Current Sexual Satisfaction, Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 39:2, 96-111”
For the record I did a search of the report for the word “rape” and there were zero results.