Unveiling the ‘Madonna-Whore’ Complex
“Historically men had a dichotomy in their perception of women. In the past, men, especially teens, had the idea that they had to marry a ‘good girl’ - a virgin. They only had sex with the ‘fast girls’ or ‘bad girls’. They waited until marriage with a ‘good girl’ - a Madonna, before engaging in sexual activities with her. Literally, sometimes they went to a whore for their first sexual experience. The advent of the pill changed the way women approached sex and thus men had to also change their views to accommodate women”, he told Alternet.
From then on, Dr. Suraci explained, women were as free to have sex as men were, and men no longer had to make a distinction between good and bad girls and didn’t expect to marry a virgin.
Yet, despite the effect that female contraception had on the women’s liberation movement and that we live in a post Third-wave feminism era, the dichotomy still rears its ugly head today through pop culture, slut-shaming and condemning women in society who enjoy sex as being a whore. Equally as patronizing to feminists, is the ‘Madonna’ label whereby men put a woman on a pedestal as someone to be protected and subservient to men.
As it applies in the context of relationships in modern times, Madonna-whore complex generally manifests itself after marriage or the birth of a child as Dr. Suraci explains:
“A man may think of his wife as a mother and not an appropriate sex partner. He is accustomed to having intercourse with a sexy woman and his wife does not fit the bill. She is now the mother - Madonna. Unconsciously, she may remind him of his mother who cannot be a sexual being,” he said.