50 People on ‘The Most Intellectual Joke I Know’
50 People On ‘The Most Intellectual Joke I Know’
Oct. 15, 2013
By Thought Catalog info
Mine: “Descartes walks into a bar and the bartender asks him what he wants to drink. Descartes says ‘hmmm, I don’t know’ and vanishes in a puff of logic.”
It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
Boris Spassky was once asked by a reporter, “Which do you prefer: chess or sex?”. Spassky replied “It very much depends on the position”.
“I’m a linguist, so I like ambiguity more than most people.”
Jean-Paul Sartre is sitting at a French cafe, revising his draft of Being and Nothingness. He says to the waitress, “I’d like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream.” The waitress replies, “I’m sorry, Monsieur, but we’re out of cream. How about with no milk?”
Q: What does the “B” in Benoit B. Mandelbrot stand for?
A: Benoit B. Mandelbrot.
“is it solipsistic in here, or is it just me?”
Did you hear about the jurisprudence fetishist? He got off on technicality…
A physicist, a mathematician and an engineer were each asked to establish the volume of a red rubber ball.
The physicist immersed the ball in a beaker full of water and measured the volume of the displaced fluid. The mathematician measured the diameter and calculated a triple integral. The engineer looked it up in his Red Rubber Ball Volume Table.
I’d tell you a UDP joke, but you may not get it.
I prefer IP jokes; it’s all in the delivery.
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