Note: A few days ago, I mentioned far-left moonbats “demanding freedom and US citizenship for the Gitmo inmates.” I hope everyone realizes I made that up and I have yet to find any such moonbats. Gitmo student loans are probably next on the outrageous hoax list.
Is the Obama Administration preparing to give prisoners at Guantanamo Bay GI Bill benefits as part of a plan to “completely crush their souls with bureaucracy?” Wired Magazine reports that Republican Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell’s office asked the Pentagon that very question after a constituent sounded the alarm.
The problem? That far-fetched notion came from a story on the satirical site “The Duffel Blog,” a military-focused answer to The Onion. (Wired posted the constituent’s letter and the query from McConnell’s office on its top-notch “Danger Room” blog on national security).
“I am writing on behalf of a constituent who has contacted me regarding Guantanamo Bay prisoners receiving Post 9/11 GI Bill benefits,” McConnell wrote. “I would appreciate your review and response to my constituent’s concerns.”
What triggered the unnamed Kentuckian’s worries? This post.
“By allowing the detainees to use the Department of Veterans Affairs, we hope to completely crush their souls with bureaucracy,” a (fake) Pentagon spokesman says in the piece.
Veterans Affairs Secretary Eric Shinseki is then quoted as saying: “Because most ‘guests’ at Guantanamo Bay have been there nearly a decade and there is no end in site for their ‘visit,’ the Department of Veterans Affairs is ready to have their claims processed in 12-15 years as per standard operating procedure.”
This is, as Danger Room reporter Spencer Ackerman points out, an attempt “to send up the inadequate, mollasses-slow [sic] benefits the government provides to the nation’s veterans.”
No word on whether any lawmakers have expressed outrage about this Duffel Blog post: “Study: Infantry Battalions Commanded By Females More Likely To Stop For Directions, Arrive Late.” But it only went up Wednesday morning.