As I was walking down the street
One dark and dreary day
I came upon a billboard
Was much to my dismay
The sign was torn and tattered
From the storm the night before
The wind and rain
Had done it’s work
And this is what I saw…

Smoke Coca-Cola cigarettes, chew Wrigley’s Spearmint beer,
Ken-L Ration Dog Food keeps your wife’s complexion clear
Simonize your baby with a Hershey’s candy bar
And Texaco’s the beauty cream that’s used by all the stars.

So take your next vacation in a brand new Frigidaire
Learn to play the piano in your winter underwear
Doctors say that babies should smoke until they’re three
And people over 65 should bathe in Lipton Tea.
Plip Plop.