I may be able to understand Gibbs and what happened to him. There has been quite a number of home robberies in my area around the Secret Mountain Lair. And every one of those robberies was pulled off by a midget.

Now, some of you may not know this, but I am a midget. Yea, I know, if you look at my avatar, I look like an average sized male, but really, it’s a clever perspective shot, and I am holding the parrot further out in front of me than it appears to be.

Well, when I came home last night, I dropped my keys in the high grass that’s around my front porch (well, if you are a midget, it’s appear high to me), and I was fumbling for my keys, when a sheriff’s department SUV (yes they use SUV’s up here in the hills) drove up and started to question me.

He reminded me of the recent midget robberies and started questioning me about where I have been spending the last few days? I told him that Cirque De Soleil was coming to town next week, and I was applying for some temporary work tightening screws underneath the seats (my height makes that easy work).

The next thing you know, he’s slamming me up against the garbage can (it was taller than me), and telling me to stop fucking with him. I guess he doesn’t know anything about the employment opportunities for midgets.

I told him I was sure that the local robberies was due to a clever raccoon, not a midget, since all the midgets I know in the neighborhood have been attend the “very special people” convention in San Diego this week.

He was going to arrest me, but the cuffs kept slipping off and he didn’t have any of those plastic things.

I finally convinced him that I was not the midget he was looking for and he left. But it does show you that being a minority is a SMALL part of the problem.

///