25 random thoughts on current events, by Kurt Eichenwald, that made me giggle.

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5. All anti-abortion protesters should be presented, on the spot, with an application to sign up as foster parents. They should also be given the names of children in their area in need of adoptive parents. And if they won’t sign or volunteer, they should shut up.

6. If abortions could be performed with a gun, would some pro-gun, anti-abortion heads explode from conflicted thoughts, like a computer might when faced with the question “Could Jesus cook a burrito so hot that he himself couldn’t eat it?”

7. Whenever someone says zygotes are babies, I reply: “Imagine a thousand zygotes in test tubes in one room, and three toddlers in another. A fire breaks out, and you only have time to get to one room. Which would you save from burning, the zygotes or the children?” It’s so much fun to watch the forced-birthers try to wriggle out of the conundrum created by their bumper-sticker slogans.

8. Anyone who says that women don’t get pregnant from rape, or that rape kits performed by law enforcement prevent pregnancy, or that fetuses masturbate, has to return to eighth grade. Of course, only in a state with a good sex-education program.

9. Why is it some conservatives think inserting inspectors into dangerous factories is government intrusion, but inserting devices for sonograms into women’s vaginas isn’t?