Here’s something cooler for the Pill’s Birthday! h/t/ Balloon Juice

I Spent My Last 10 Bucks on Birth Control and Beer:

Youtube Video

When I was a young girl like normal girls do
I looked to a woman`s love to help get me through
I never needed any more than a feminine touch
I hated the thought of kissing a man it really was too much

I did not drink, I did not smoke I did not say `goddamn`
I was polite I was sensitive before I loved a man
My family, they were proud of me were proud of what I am
But then along came Lester and my tell of woe began

(Chorus)
I spent my last ten dollars on birth control and beer
My life was so much simpler when I was sober and queer
But the love of a strong hairy man has turned my head I fear
And made me spend my last ten bucks on birth control and beer

It was June 1983 when Mary Lou and I did part
She said she loved another dyke my god, it broke my heart
I was bitter and disillusioned to lose another girlfriend
Lester came to work at Papa`s store and decided to ease on in

Before my last heartbreak nothing made me more sick
Than a hairy-chested, cheap double-breasted suited man with a hard dick
I guess that I was courios I guess that I was young
I guess it was that rum and coke I guess that I was dumb

(Chorus)

For of course, for a woman to love a man she must also love to booze
If a woman don`t drink beside her man then she will surely lose him
As I sit in this hetero honky-tonk and reflect upon my past
I think about those girlfriends and why they didn`t last

For there`s certain thrills that lesbian love simply cannot supply
Like paying for abortions from sperm gone awry
And so I say to you my friends without this man I`d die
So listen to my tell of woe and hang your head and cry