I….I….it’s been almost twenty minutes now. I’m still listening to the moron who took two guitar lessons. The gay guy is telling me the next representative will pick up when he’s finished helping another customer.

Oh?

Really?

Hey recorded fuckhead! I know your sister. I know where she lives. I dated her in high school. You know what? Nobody tried to sleep with her. You know why? Because every guy in school knew - even back then - that someday they’d call a simple freakin’ help line - over a simple e-mail problem, and - oh crap - they’d still be on hold twenty five minutes into this insanity, and sure as hell didn’t want to piss you off - even way back then.

I also knew your mother.

But that’s another story, recorded gay guy.