re: #11 Lord of the Pies

I was in the store the other day and I heard the most WTF lame Christmas music EVER.

You know how every artist has to record a “Christmas album” and do their own styling of the usual lame, cheesy, crappy Christmas music.

Some guy was singing “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” in “Bing Crosby” style. Real sloooooow, like some “romantic” ballad.

It was like AYEEEE SAAAAAW MOOOOOMMMMYY KIISSSSING SAAAAAAANNTA CLAAUUUUUUS, UUUNDEEERNEEEEEATH THHHHE MISSSSSSSTLETOOOOE LAAAAASSSSSSTT NIIIIIIGHT and it went on and on and on for hours on end.

I was waiting in the checkout lane and the entire time it took to sing the first two bars.

What the fucking fuck?

Horrific.

I haven’t heard that one, but I can well imagine. Perhaps we could use it as a way to get suspected terrorists to confess. Of course it could be construed as torture, and also it’s entirely possible that the listener would gladly confess to everything and anything including the Lindbergh Kidnapping.

There is something about the Christmas season that brings out the most saccharine, over the top, maudlin music there is. I wonder if there is an equivalent in other cultures?

RBS
RBS