The cabin boy joke:

In the age of square-rigged sailing ships, a young man is taking his first voyage. After about two weeks at sea, he goes to the Captain, and asks him if any women are aboard.

The Captain tells him, “No, young sir, there ain’t a lady around for a thousand miles!” He then asks the Captain if there will be any in port. The Captain says, “Aye, but they’re as scurvy a bunch of low whores as ye’d ever see. Ye can catch the clap just lookin’ at one! Why d’ya aske?”

So the young man asks, “So Captain, what do all the men aboard do when the urge strikes them?” The Captain replies, “We go to the cabin boy. He takes care of our needs!” The young man is shocked, and walks away.

A week later, he goes back to the Captain and says, “Captain, I’m really desperate. If I…had relations with the cabin boy, how many people would have to know?”

The Captain says, “Well…six, I reckon.”

“Six?” cries the young man. “How can that be?”

The Captain replies, “Well, there’s me, since you told me. Of course the cabin boy would have to know….”

“…and we’ll need four sailors to hold the cabin boy down!”

(Thank you, thank you. Don’t forget to tip your waitress.)