CERN is going to accidently produce a strangelet in the Large Hardon (sic) Collider on Dec 21, 2012. The same day effects from the Betelgeuse supernova will arrive at Earth including a gamma ray burst from the leftover core collapsing into a quark star or a black hole.

Jesus will return 10 days later to a planet that is a quark-gluon plasma surrounded by a charred moon and will say “D’oh I forgot about the damn calendar change in 1582!”