As the campaign manager for Cthulhu/Zod 2016, let me be the first to welcome you to the 2016 campaign season. We know that 2012 has been an extremely challenging one, so we’re here to make it easy for you.

Your choice will be Cthulhu/Zod or Cthulhu/Zod. We’re running both tickets. Why? Because we can - and we will take lying, misrepresenting, flip flopping, and asshattery to new levels of awesomeness.

And for those concerned about birth certificates for my candidates, you have nothing to worry about. Just take a gander here.

Oh, and those heat maps wont work either. We’ve perfected the tech. We’ve been here all along. You just didn’t know it.