re: #211 Romantic Heretic

As the book I linked mentions, it’s a matter of ego. The submissive has a weak ego, a poor sense of identity. They strengthen that identity by being ‘absorbed’ into the identity of their dominant.

Conversely, the dominant also suffers from a weak ego. They strengthen theirs by ‘absorbing’ the identity of the submissive. It’s a perverse and dangerous method of making a person feel important and wanted.

It’s why I’ve often said that the Borg are many people’s idea of heaven. To be part of something so powerful, so unstoppable, would be the culmination of their beliefs. No longer themselves but an indistinguishable part of a great thing.

Brrrr.

I’ve heard of the book you linked - it’s considered one of the best on the subject - but I’ve never read it. I’ll have to check it out.

I’ve never understood wanting to disappear into something so completely that I lost my own sense of self. Perhaps I’m too much of an individualist for that sort of thing. Generally my observation is that people who gravitate towards extremes in anything, politics, religion, social movements, etc., are usually people who have a poorly-developed sense of the individual self and hence they seek to gain an identity through participation in a mass of like-minded others.