The Suspense is Killing Me!

Is Obama EVER going to get around to picking out a dog? He’s been dithering about this since last JULY! I thought he was a man of action?

What’s taking so long?

Rejected as “insufficiently bipartisan”.

* Technically, the job of White House bitch is already taken.

* Still finalizing the contract for new reality series: “Odogma: Picking the Presidential Pooch”.

* Threatening to not get a dog is the only leverage he has to make Sasha & Malia clean their rooms. Not giving THAT up anytime soon.

* Can’t afford it until he gets that $13 tax cut.

* Doesn’t want his picture taken with something that can do “sad wittle puppy eyes” better than he can.

* Splash is gonna need a new home soon. Obama is prepared to wait.

* Just being abundantly cautious this time. Remember that urban legend about The Mexican Pet? Yeah, that was Obama.

* As a result of promises made to certain “interest groups” during the campaign, he can only adopt an openly gay labradoodle, a breed famous for its extreme reluctance to come out of the closet.

* And no, putting a collar on Barney Frank doesn’t count as “close enough”. Obama already asked.

* Decided he’s not ready for a dog, since he can’t even keep Biden from piddling on the carpet.

* Sadly, every dog he’s looked at turned out to have had issues with “federal revenue remittance punctuality”.
Any other reasons for the delay that YOU’VE heard about?