Dear Dan,

The nation owes you a debt of gratitude for the tireless work you and like-minded patriots have done in your relentless drive to prove how unfit for office this President is.

Thanks to you, I now believe that Obama is a James Bond villain and the Antichrist. Everything he has ever done in his life, every place he has ever visited, everyone he has ever crossed paths with — there isn’t a single thing Obama has ever done since day one (and I’m talking August 4, 1961, not January 20, 2009) that hasn’t been marked with suspicion and sinister underpinnings.

Thanks to you, I am now convinced that Obama is worse than Mao, Mussolini, Machiavelli, Moriarty, Mordred, Marx, Michael Myers and Ming the Merciless rolled into one. It is more than obvious that Obama is merely paving the road for the day when he leads his master, the Infernal Lord of Hell, straight to the Oval Office.

Thanks to you, I anxiously read great newspapers like the New York Post and Washington Times searching for the clues that will prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that Obama takes his marching orders from the Mad Mullahs, Occupy Wall Street and the Gay Agenda.

Thanks to you, I now know that if Obama is elected to a second term, he will simultaneously bring about Nuclear Winter, Global Warming and a Socialist Paradise.

There, I said it. Are you happy now? Now that I am on record as formally agreeing with everything that you write, will you go far, far away until, say, 2012?

And then when you and your fellow true believers come back in four years dragging Rick Santorum’s sorry ass as the standard-bearer of what used to be the proud Grand Old Party, I promise I’ll say the same thing about Hillary.