re: #276 iceweasel

April fools!

Apologies if this was already posted:

Man arrested at Large Hadron Collider claims he’s from the future

OK you should all know the truth about me:

I am not as I have often posted, a Zionist Lord of Remulak.

I am not even a physicist in the way you think.

I am actually a short Black woman from the year 2753 doing research for her dissertation in history. My thesis is called “How stupidity caused the decline of Empires, a study of the collapse of America.”

I was born in the nice beach front town of Laurel MD. Well you would have called it Laurel. The Protectorate calls it New Washington.

So a little about the future world I come from.

There are some down sides. The eco-collapse was truly horrible. there was hope that when a new virus spread from Africa into Europe and coupled coupled with modern transportation led to a pandemic, the worst effects of a food crisis would be averted averted. The climate scientists in 2053 were still making models that were too soft though.

However, civilization did not completely collapse. There were some brutal times and places though I could tell you about. I always had a fascination of the Kingdom of Iowa and the dashing way that their motorcycle legion would invade the Barony of Ohio. I suppose it was our version of Knights, and like medievalists, I believe I was drawn to that period for the same reasons.

There are good things in the future too.

In 2251, the last Republican died in the Cincinnati zoo. James Jr as he liked to be called, was very comfortable. He was given an endless stream of Robot humanoid simulacrums with brown skin to abuse in his habitat. His last words were “It was satire damn it! Why don’t those darkies get that!”

But honestly, it was because of him that I chose this research. I wondered what a world full of Republicans would be like. I also wanted to see the various creatures that became extinct.

I can’t believe you people thought that tigers were less valuable than Chinese t-shirts!

Well there are a lot of Republicans here in this time. My advisor warned me of the culture shock.