OK, I’ve been contemplating this little quiz for a while now.

The Green Quiz by Cato

A. Your grandmother is dying on the other side of the country. She has been in a coma for a year and will not recognize you or even know you’re there. Do you
1. Fly there anyway to support your family.
2. Take a train and risk not getting there in time.
3. Stay home for the good of the planet.

B. You have a job interview, but your gut tells you you won’t get the position and you really wouldn’t want to work for that company. Do you
1. Fly there anyway just to say you tried.
2. Drive across two states just to say you tried.
3. Ask for a video-conference interview for the good of the planet.

C. You win a sweepstakes vacation to the island of Spetsis in Greece, all expenses paid, for two people and three weeks. Do you
1. Take the wife and enjoy yourself.
2. Take your mistress and enjoy yourself.
3. Ask for a cash payout instead and donate it to Greenpeace for the good of the planet.

D. You find your dream house on the coast of Maine. But it’s a drafty old nineteenth-century affair with an enormous carbon footprint because everything from windows to insulation to the cranky old oil-heating system has to be replaced. You can afford the house but not the upgrades for at least ten years. Do you
1. Live your dream
2. Ask Al Gore for a fixer-upper loan.
3. Stay in your crummy place in a city and climate you detest for the good of the planet.

I could go on.

If you answered anything but “3” to any of these questions, you are worse than a pedophile as far as the planet is concerned.