And while we’re at it, can anyone identify the GOP’s platform anymore? Their next convention is going to be fascinating.

Plank 1: We are against Democrats.

Plank 2: We are for whoever is against Democrats.

Plank 3: We are against Big Government.

Plank 4: If we are the Government, ignore plank 3.

Plank 5: We are pro-individual rights. The Big Government should stay out of our personal lives.

Plank 6: One exception to Plank 5 is gay marriage.

Plank 7: Another exception to Plank 5 is women’s right to choose.

Plank 8: Another exception to Plank 5 is Muslim’s right to build community centers.

Plank 9: Another exception to Plank 5 is anyone who looks like they might not be an American needing to prove that they are when encountered by law enforcement.

Plank 10: Another exception to Plank 5 is the belief that we’re all equal, but we all need to acknowledge that Christians are more right than everyone else.

Plank 11: Mormons aren’t real Christians.

Plank 12: We believe Obama is not a citizen and should go back to Africa, but not in a racist way.

Plank 13: We believe in the land of opportunity. But less so for people who speak spanish.

Plank 14: Dinosaurs and man existed together on earth at the same time.

Plank 15: Global warming is a myth and if the globe is warming it’s because god wants it that way.