My mother just came to my house. She had to borrow my bathroom because my sister-in-law, her two children, and her mother are at mom’s house and they have monopolized her bathroom continuously since 7 o’clock this morning. It is indelicate, but necessary, to clarify that she cannot go at will and every time she decides to try, there is someone in there. This is entirely typical of my family and is the number one reason I do not have relatives other than my daughters and grandchildren as house guests. I also have antique model planes and books, art glassware, and my wife’s Madame Alexander dolls. I am not about to turn the extended tribe loose with them. When my older daughter got married, I was terrified some of the family members would loot or vandalize the old Boston church where we had the wedding and I would have to pay for it. I was lucky that time, only 60 bucks for a broken lamp, but I am disinclined to take chances.

I am seriously thinking about having a porta-potty delivered to my mom’s driveway to see if they get the message.