Where does Charles get these quotes?

G’morn all. Yesterday I woke to the strands of “I’m a Loser Baby so why don’t you kill me” and today I woke to news about how the Dow bounce was all due to b.o.’s policy and his press secretary saying how great things are going to get for Americans in two to three years (between the ahs and you knows).

Now I read b.o. hates white people ;.)