I’m glad I’m not in Lubbock tonight. You see, the Red Raiders suffered an embarrassing football loss to Kansas State today.
In their rage and grief, the savage masses of the Tech fan base will do what they always do: get falling down drunk and lash out at anyone they think is vulnerable. Since they are often mistaken in their evaluation of vulnerability, some of them will no doubt be beaten and arrested, if not worse. In any case, they will turn the streets and Walmarts into warzones of roving, screaming, piss-in-the-street packs and drunk drivers.
How much better it would be if most of them were stoned instead. They would sit quietly at stop signs, waiting for them to turn green, and the police could easily control them with bags of Oreos.