Wingnut history, explained in a nutcaseshell:

It all started with Marx. Initially at least, the German born Marx was mostly known for snappy one liners and an omnipresent cigar. Then Pa Engels went over to the Dark Side after Little House, the two teamed up and communism was born. Their followers, who called themselves Marx brothers, knew they had no chance of eradicating private property so long as property owners and other True Christians had firearms. So they got in touch with Hollywood hopheads and perverts,and and created the Democrat Party as a front. They have instituted Shakira law in their native California, forcing all to dance to their evil tune, but their greatest success has been the legalization of cannibals in Colorado. They hope that between them, the cannibals, hopheads, and dance fiends can force gun control on real Americans. It is hopeless, of course, because we have all the guns and God is on our side just in case.