re: #64 Justanotherhuman

I think this psychiatrist has a point:

vanityfair.com

“When a much younger, less sophisticated person takes a lover the age of a parent, says Dr. Leo Kron, the director of adolescent and child psychiatry at St. Luke’s/Roosevelt Hospital in Manhattan, “it may create for her the opportunity to avoid the anxiety of normal development. It can be a way to avoid socialization. It’s a safe haven with a parent figure, an escape from the normal vicissitudes of growing up. The fact she had such a deprived early existence makes it more difficult for her to become independent. There’s a greater risk of getting involved in a relationship where she has to be taken care of.”

This is a link to a paged story on Woody Allen and his relationship with Mia Farrow’s adopted daughter,

Although he’s talking specifically about Soon-Yi and Woody Allen, it could apply to everyone. It’s something older people should absolutely consider when looking at a much younger person as a mate.

I have a female friend (Chinese) who’s 33. She’s been living with an American, 53. Her previous live-in BF was another American expat, aged 56. In my opinion, he was a pig and looked like one, but he acted like he was god’s gift to Chinese women. Anyway, she’s told me she prefers older men for two reasons (1) they’re more mature and (2) they fill in for the father she never had. Her mom and dad, you see, only had two daughters. Dad was emotionally distant from his offspring. She’s honest about her motivations, and the current arrangement seems to suit her. It’s hard to tell from where I am, since they live in Beijing.