Anyway, God has personally endorsed the GUNS AND DOPE PARTY and cursed Tsardom. He told me so, speaking through an ostrich named Olga who co-starred with Orson Welles in a thriller called The Southern Star.

Olga spoke in Orson’s most sonorous and resonant voice, the one he used for Father Mapple in Moby Dick. Orson, in another second-rate villain role, spoke in a lispy, sqeeaky, very Gay, upper-class English voice, which made the character, a bandit chief, a lot more interesting.

At the climax, Olga said, looking right at the camera, “I am the Lord God. Do you believe that?”

I giggled and said, “No…I think I just took too much pain medicine…”

“Good,” said Olga/Orson/Father Mapple. “I’m sick and tired of gullible fools like Dubya and Son of Sam. Just keep an open mind, old chum, and watch me rear back and work some Miracles for the Guns and Dope Party! Damn those pesky Tsarists! By the way, don’t forget your promise to include 33% ostriches in your government.”

Those other guys are just jealous because the Voices don’t speak to them and they have to fake it!