re: #72 Glenn Beck’s Grand Unifying Theory of Obdicut

Her.

Angering Maoris is foolish.

And what she’s mocking is something that that Navy adopted in order to boost morale. Maori warrior tradition is something amazing, and New Zealand’s armed forces use that tradition not just as a way of sintering society together, but because it’s an astounding and complex martial tradition that lends itself excellently to the sort of showy weirdness that can help bond military units together.

Here it is performed at a game between New Zealand and France, and France responds solidly. It elevates the contest to one of ritual. It’s awesome.

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The Maori weren’t only fierce, they were smart, too. They adopted firearms early, which gave them a fighting chance against the British. But where they really stood out was their adaptation of the forts, called Paus. Before the Maori knew about cannon, their Paus had high, relatively narrow walls, to make them difficult to storm. After they learned of the anti-fortress power of cannon, they built their paus with lower walls backed by earth, and incorporating bomb-proofs to allow defenders to survive mortar and rocket fire unscathed. This happened in Europe, too, but it took far longer. The Maori adapted to gunpower faster than any other nation.