Time for some literature.

2016 Edward Bulwer-Lytton winner, detective fiction.

She walked toward me with her high heels clacking like an out-of-balance ceiling fan set on low, smiling as though about to spit pus from a dental abscess, and I knew right away that she was going to leave me feeling like I had used a wood rasp to cure my hemorrhoids.

— Charles Caldwell, Leesville, LA