WHAT TO CONSIDER when buying a “green” car.
(h/t blogfather)

Things I’d consider before buying a “green” car:
• Spending eternity eating shards of broken glass
• Getting a hundred thousand paper cuts on my face
• Slamming my fingers in a door again and again and again and again and again
• Shoving an ice pick under a toenail or two
• Jumping naked onto a huge pile of thumbtacks
• Sticking my nostrils together with Krazy Glue
• Diving into a pool filled with double-edged razor blades