re: #174 RogueOne

I can’t imagine having a spouse that didn’t work. Having your entire identity wrapped around one relationship just seems like a recipe for disaster.

Well, I’m convinced of the need for women to have an identity beyond wife and mother, and have been for essentially forever. I read betty friedan when I was 15 or so, and The Feminine Mystique was a book more than 20 years old then— but it did seem to still capture a lot about my mother’s life, say, and the lives of many.

Still does. It hasn’t generally been economically feasible for a long time now to have a partner who never works— unless the breadwinner is bringing in a lot. It’s more common in the middle and upper middle classes to have a partner who is highly educated but may take 5 or so years ‘off’ from full-time work to be home with the kids.

This in the article was also good:

While it’s widely believed that a woman’s financial independence increases her risk for divorce, divorce rates in the United States tell a different story: they have fallen as women have made economic gains. The rate peaked at 23 divorces per 1,000 couples in the late 1970s, but has since dropped to fewer than 17 divorces per 1,000 couples. Today, the statistics show that typically, the more economic independence and education a woman gains, the more likely she is to stay married. And in states where fewer wives have paid jobs, divorce rates tend to be higher, according to a 2009 report from the Center for American Progress.

Sociologists and economists say that financially independent women can be more selective in marrying, and they also have more negotiating power within the marriage. But it’s not just women who win. The net result tends to be a marriage that is more fair and equitable to husbands and wives.

Attitudes, as well as economic realities, have something to do with the change. Most men really do want an equal partner. Not just in economic terms, but in many ways: educational, intellectual, etc.
Freidan got a few things wrong, but imo she was always right about that.