My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and
I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a
nearby table.

My wife asked, ‘Do you know her?’

‘Yes,’ I sighed, ‘she’s my old girlfriend. I understand she took to
drinking right after we split up those many years ago and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.’

‘My God!’ says my wife, ‘Who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?’