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Onion: Worm Alert

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WINDUPBIRD DISEASE [S.K.U.M.M.]2/09/2010 8:55:56 pm PST

re: #337 Racer X

When I was 25 I woke up one morning and looked around at the stems and seeds and empty beer cans. I looked at all of the junk mail for Greenpiece, WWF, Sierra Club and others looking to pickpocket me some more. I looked at my neighbors with nice cars and homes and jet-ski’s and boats. And I decided to become what I loathed the most. A capitalist.

Best move I ever made.

I’m an entrepreneur, a liberal, and I have two nice cars, one of which likes to embarrass muscle cars at stoplights. Though I hate the water, so I’m not buying a boat. And I made a great deal of this money with my own two hands, selling stuff I made (some of it digitally) to people for money. Capitalism!