re: #674 reine.de.tout

Yesterday I was watching a show, ER or something - anyhow - a prisoner was brought into the ER of this hospital, there for the THIRD time for the same thing - he had tied a piece of dental floss to a piece of metal and had inserted the metal into his urethra. The string was there to convince the doc he really had done this. He wanted a couple of days out of prison, thought he’d get a few days’ stay in the hospital. Unfortunately, I missed the end of that particular episode so I can’t tell you how it turned out.
But it was unbelievable to me.

Okay, I’ll violate the one per thread thing I just said because this is such a natural followup. This one comes from my father, who is a country doc in a smallish town, and thus does all the hospital stuff to.

On arriving at the hospital, the nurses were all in giggles over the latest patient, and it wasn’t hard to see why. This gentleman had presented with a length of piano wire up his urethra, which he couldn’t get out. This seemed odd. What seemed odder was his story, which was that he’d come home, been hit over the head, and woken up with it in there.

Something didn’t quite sit right (other than the patient himself). Upon further questioning, the truth came out, although the wire sadly did not. Apparently he had discovered that by sliding this wire up his urethra and attaching it to electrodes, he could give himself small electric shocks and thus stimulate himself. As is a young man’s wont, he had pushed the envelope once too often, and shocked himself so powerfully that he jumped and twitched, and the wire had gone up too far and hooked on his bladder.

Eventually, after some effort and catheterisation, it came out. And let that be a lesson to young men in the audience: electricity and penises do not mix. No matter what your friends say.