The first of our two most ridiculous phony outrages is a meme being circulated on Facebook; LGF contributor Gus tweeted about it yesterday, with the laughably awful photoshopped image that’s got the wingnuts in a tizzy:

http://t.co/IP2hBWXEbk: Spiteful Obama Blocks Off View of Mt. Rushmore http://t.co/KUFotxeqL6 #derp pic.twitter.com/ohIu6CZ2hc

— Gus (@Gus_802) October 5, 2013

Wow, that’s really spiteful! How dare he?!

Pretty crazed, you’ll have to admit. But our second most ridiculous fake outrage is nearly as stupid and phony, as breitbart.com propagandist Mike Flynn wants his gullible audience to believe that Spiteful Obama is actually trying to close the ocean. That’s just how spiteful he is! And just to drive home the sheer spitefulness of that monster, he illustrates his ludicrous post with a photo of Obama… body-surfing! In the ocean! The bastard!

This is governing by temper-tantrum. It is on par with the government’s ham-fisted attempts to close the DC WWII Memorial, an open-air public monument that is normally accessible 24 hours a day. By accessible I mean, you walk up to it. When you have finished reflecting, you then walk away from it.

At least that Memorial is an actual structure, with some kind of perimeter that can be fenced off. Florida Bay is the ocean. How, pray tell, do you “close” 1,100 square miles of ocean? Why would one even need to do so?

Apparently, according to an anonymous Park Service ranger, “We’ve been told to make life as difficult for people as we can. It’s disgusting.”

Centuries ago, King Canute famously failed to command the ocean tide to stop. His display was actually a means to educate his subjects on the limits of royal power. Today, however, our President actually believes he has the power to control the oceans.

That’s so incredibly loony, I find it amazing he could even type it without collapsing into hysterics at his own crack-brained derangement.

And of course, you realize it’s complete bullshit, right? Here’s the article this lurid paranoid post is drawn from: Shutdown Day 3: Food Distributor Stalled, Charter Boat Captains Docked - Business - MiamiHerald.com.

Charter guides received a message from the National Park Service this week informing them that they are not permitted to take clients fishing in Florida Bay until the feds get back to work. That means that more than 1,100 square miles of prime fishing is off limits between the southern tip of the mainland to the Keys until further notice.

The closing affects not only fishing guides, but anyone with a license to conduct business in the park, including tour operators and paddling guides — anyone with a Commercial Use Authorization permit, said Dan Kimball, superintendent of Everglades and Dry Tortugas national parks.

That’s right, the closure affects people with licenses to use park property, and like many services affected by the shutdown, the government can’t pay the people who administer and enforce the regulations — so access needs to be suspended.

In the Breitbart fever swamp, this turns into “OBAMA SEEKS TO CONTROL THE VERY OCEANS!” Good grief.

Oh… and that quote from an “anonymous Park Service ranger,” saying “We’ve been told to make life as difficult for people as we can. It’s disgusting?” It’s being passed around as gospel truth on every right wing blog and media site — but it originated with Washington Times weirdo Wesley Pruden. Which means it was probably made up out of thin air.

Right wing journalism at its finest!